The beginning.

Have you ever felt so stupid that you could kick yourself really hard? Yes, that's exactly how I feel right now. Have been feeling for the last three days actually. It's annoying beyond belief, if you ask me. People say that winning isn't everything, it doesn't matter as much. What matters is the game and you should play for the love of the game. Whoever first said that must've been on the winning side. Winning ain't everything and love of the game and all the jazz is fine but it's when you lose that you actually realise how badly you wanted to win.

First PFL and then today's GCL match. Sheesh. Whatta fail. But it's okay (I've been trying to convince myself), we have two more matches to go in GCL. PFL, however, is gone. Till next year, at least. And even though I only decided to play on a last minute instinct and even though it wasn't such a big deal to begin with, somewhere along the way, it did become a big deal. More than that in fact, a dream even. Watching Shardul and Techi reminisce about their loss in last year's semi-final, sitting by the court and strategising with pebbles, shouting "mindfuck, mindfuck" at random moments, screeching with joy at every goal stopped. Every single bit of it was magical. The atmosphere on that basketball court is something that one can't describe. You have to have been there, to have felt that palpable excitement in the air, to have seen the tension on the faces around to really know what it's like. It's more than just football, much much more. The funniest bit is that I am writing all of this. And most of it without having to think, my fingers tapping away without a pause. Last year when I was just one of the many spectators by the sidelines, I used to secretly laugh at all these crazy people getting so worked up about a game. It's just a game, after all! But this time, every second of 'girl time' that I was on court, I knew exactly why. Why this was more than a game, why people went so crazy after it. (If you're reading this without ever having experienced the magic of PFL, you might think I'm loony or something.)

Losing out to Malla's team day before was heart breaking. Especially after we got our act together so beautifully after the first 10 minutes. As the knowledge of having been chucked out of the race sunk in, the entire team sort of spontaneously deflated. And I know that as we watch the semi-finals and finals, each member will be thinking at the back of their minds that it could've been us. But it's okay, I guess. You win some, you lose some. If nothing else, it's a beginning. At least for me. It's the beginning of a journey, one that's going to last 3 more years. And by the end of that, hopefully, there will be conquest. 

Another item just got added to my bucket list. :)

The Haze Clears.

As promised, I'm back! Soon enough too. And what's more, I've actually done what all I'd set out to do. Random emo phase waaaaay over, back to the happy place it is! I think the only person who's ever told me this is Mom (and that's probably because she's the only one who knows me better than myself) but I've realised it's absolutely true: I'm happiest when I have a billion things to do and limited time for them. Yes yes, I'm used to the popping of the eyes, the you're-a-psycho stare and all of that. But the truth is the truth, can't help it. Pressure situations give me some sort of thrill and really do make me happy. Period.

Anyhow, coming back, the haze that seemed to have enveloped me last time around, when I decided to take a break, has evidently cleared. I've re-focussed myself, got my priorities in place and pretty much everything sorted. For now at least. I figured life's too short and time too less to sit around trying to figure out stuff, find your way about life. Live in the moment and figure things along the way. Give each day your best shot and leave the rest to the forces that be. And most importantly, philosophise a leetil less. Philosophy is awesome, it's great, but it gets too much after a while and honestly, it can mindfuck you, I promise. :P Try to control random philosophising, check. And I should be dozing off right about now, shweepy me is. Be back with more soonly! :)

Sabbatical of Sorts.

I had promised myself I would come back soon after I wrote the last post but I guess that never quite happened. I've lost a little interest, become a little jaded. Revamp and all that jazz worked brilliantly but somehow I don't feel like writing any longer. It worries me. I don't want to slip into the pre-revamp phase again but at the same time I do need a break. From myself, from this madness and from everything that I've been trying to brush under the carpet for the greater part of a year. I need to find my way again. Which is why I've decided to go on a sabbatical. From this blog and from some other things. I'm going to only do what I really want to and enjoy it to the fullest. And as and when I've found my lost self, I shall be back with full gusto.

Believe me, I am NOT an emo person and I don't like to be one. But I feel like one. So I'm going to make amends and be back very, very soon :)

Till then, adieu folks!

Aaaand we're back!

I'm back from the Law-school-break-induced sabbatical! Second trimester is just about waking up from it's slumber and taking slow, sleepy steps towards the mountain of work that awaits. For now though, it's chilling time. Attending classes does seem a bit of an effort, yes. But it's part of the deal, can't help it. Heh :P

I'm trying to follow some semblance of a schedule till I can so I will sleep off now, but more tomorrow on holidays and why I absolutely loved Bombay. Night, folks :)

P.S. - Sneak peek into the 4-day Bombay saga -

Tournament: 3rd IIT-Bmbay Debate
Team : Siddhant, Ritika and I.
Status: Novices. First tournament for Siddhant and me, second for Ritika.
Result: Broke (like the rest of the NLS contingent :D) and made it till Quarters! :D

More tomorrow!

If you're happy and you know it, use 19(1)(a)!

To clarify, the 19(1)(a) bit is only because my brain is brimming with Consti provisions right now.

(For the blissfully unaware, Article 19(1)(a) of the Constitution of India provides for freedom of speech and expression.)

If you still didn't get it then I would suggest you really think about what is up with you. No offence meant.

Anyhoo, don't have much time so I'll cut straight to the point. I feel happy. Despite being in the middle of horrendous exams, yes. For multiple reasons.
1. I'm going to be home in less than 48 hours. At last. Can. Not. Wait.
2. Surprisingly, readership of this crappy blog seems to have suddenly shot up. I have no clue why but it's a good thing, I guess. Yay! :)
3. The new Dynamic Views on Blogger's template section seem quite interesting. Look forward to exploring them soon after exams end!

Little tip: When the big things in life don't seem to be going right, find joy in the little ones. Works wonders, I promise!

That's pretty much it. Shall now get back to revising my infinite Consti course for tomorrow's (rather today's) exam. Bah. Night, folks!

Take it as it comes.

You know what? Shit happens. It's true. And when it does happen, you feel horrible. It's natural. But you learn to move on. I've decided. There's no damn point being emo about it. What's done is done, you can't rewind it. So why break your head over it now? Look back once, learn, and then don't look back again. Sometimes it's your good luck, sometimes it's not. When you can't control it anyway then why mope about it? Take it as it comes. Hopefully, and I say this because I'm only trying this out now, it'll keep you much happier. I know it hurts especially when it means so much, but bottom line is that it's not the end of the world. And if it's not, then there's no point worrying so much because there's always going to be a tomorrow.

After moot oral tabs released today and I was feeling horrible for performing below anything I expected of my own self, the wise old man of mooting said to me, "Where you go always turns upon what choices you make at the times when you most want to give up". And as useless as it sounded to me at that time, I later realised it's hardly untrue. Today, for the first time since coming to Law School, I doubted my own skills. My capabilities to live up to my own expectations, leave aside those of anyone else. Today, for the first time, I seriously considered giving up. And then I was reprimanded severely for doing so. Learning isn't just about gaining knowledge, I was told, it's also about grappling with such situations. Time and sleep has brought a little more sanity and I feel stupid for having thought that way. Set backs are just those, set backs. So what if you have to cover a little bit of the path you already covered. You're still on the right path and probably in a better position to traverse it now. Smile. Like everything else, this too, shall pass. It must. :)

The Cynics.

Observation for today: People love to be cynical. Or think of themselves as being cynical. It's true in many cases but it seems to be something that people take some weird sort of pride in professing for the sake of it. Never quite understood why. True story. Or am I being cynical now?

Suit yourself.

My heart's a stereo :)

Stereo Hearts! Happy times, happy song :D Home beckons. 10 days. Phew. Whatte relief! It's been quite a trimester, right from the start. So much happens in three months. Quite unbelievable, I say. I call it living life on the edge. It's true, coming to think of it. People in Law School do live on the edge. You never know when they'll topple over :P It's been quite brilliant, largely. Pleasant change from the saga that was third trimester. And now I feel quite jobless. For now at least. Before end-term fever sets in. Sigh.

I decided that with today's post, I'm going to inaugurate the little-snippets-about-people section I talked about earlier. I'll avoid taking names though I doubt any of those people read this blog. Plus I want to observe general trends more than particular people. Except when the people are so exceptional that they stand out even among the general populace :P

Today's observation: People say a lot of things for the sake of saying them. A LOT of things. It's quite surprising actually. There are those few who really say things because they genuinely believe in them. But most people tend to say at least some things without really meaning them. Observe carefully next time.

Shall leave with that observation. More soonly!

And yet another Univ Round ends :)

Moot univs finished today. Whatte gruelling two weeks! Ups, downs, highs, lows. It's been one roller coaster ride. Memo was a huge fiasco, oral rounds were horrible. But it doesn't seem to matter anymore. It's over and that's what counts. I can breathe again, wheeeeeee! :) Like Mr. D said, what we take from these crappy rounds is not the worst bits but the best ones - the four of us working together, hysterical nights spent in the acad fretting over a seemingly impossible argument, Red Bulls and what not. 

Were these rounds as good as we expected them to be or did they seem proportionate to the effort we put in? No. Without a shadow of a doubt. But did we learn from these rounds? Immense amounts. Would I do it again? Hell yes! I've been told I'm crazy but I've never been in love with mooting more. I got toasted by both benches but for the 30 odd minutes that I was up there, arguing, citing authority, answering questions that were shot at me like bullets, nothing else mattered. It reiterated my belief in the fact that my decision to come to Law School was the best decision ever. I don't want the ranks to release now because I know I'm probably going to be some inconsequential number but it's okay. I gave my best, I would do it again. Now I know why only one mooter can understand another. To the rest of the world, it's a process we subject ourselves to. To us, it's those 15 minutes of absolute thrill that nothing else in the world can match. 

To each his own. :)

Because an Oreo shake can change your life :P

Today, for the first time since I came to Law School, I honestly thought I was going to lose it. Like completely. The funny bit is that I've been in the exact same situation a billion times but today I really felt like I was going to burst. Moot, debate, Admit One, classes. Talk about having too much on your plate. But you know the best bit? I managed to overcome it. Within an hour. And an Oreo shake later. (It's amazing how much of a difference Oreo shakes can make to your life. Not kidding.) I feel quite proud. Yes, I essentially wanted to say that. There isn't much else to talk about but I felt like writing something. More later, must get back to work. Toodles!

P. S. - Just an after thought. I think I'm going to start writing about people. And their habits and idiosyncrasies. Observing humans is always fascinating, no? Such varied behaviour patterns. Hm. This is sounding increasingly like something I should do. Soonly. 

Spiritus :D

I love Spiritus. It's my favouritest fest in Law School and a lot of people would agree to the fact that it's also the most amount of fun. Personally, last year when I was an overwhelmed, mind-boggled first year, Spiritus was kind of a turning point in my life at Law School. Prior to it, I was stressed, exhausted and at an utter loss to understand what was going on. In life. So many questions, no answers. Why am I here, why am I doing this, I want to go home, aaaaaaah! It was a crazy start (which it always is, as I eventually learnt). To top it all I managed to fracture my leg in my second month itself. Cherry on the cake, anyone?

And then came Spiritus.

Even though I was so overwhelmed and had so much to worry about, Spiritus took my mind off all of that and made me see why I was in Law School. Till that point of time, I was unsure about whether I had actually made the right decision in coming here, sacrificing the potential opportunity to study in some of the best colleges around the world. But in that moment while I stood with a hundred other Law Schoolites, screaming myself hoarse, cheering "Office mein tera baap kaun, Law School Law School" on the basketball court, I fell in love. With Law School and with Spiritus. And in a very strange way which I haven't quite understood till date, it gave me the perspective that I had been lacking. It showed me why I had indeed made the right choice in coming here and why there was no other place I'd have rather gone to.

Spiritus is now back and the love affair continues. <3 First day was as awesome as expected. A spazzed out badminton match early in the morning which was won nonetheless (thank god! :P), frenzied scheduling and other RnR work after and so much more. It was exactly what I had been looking forward to. Today is the second and predictably, the busiest day of Spiritus. Which reminds me that I should probably catch some sleep. It's going to be a long day.

Quick update - moot finally seems to be making some semblance of sense. Phew. But honestly, WHAT a problem! Hats off. Looking forward to two weeks of working on it. :)

Must get going now. As Senor Chang says, adios amigos!

One Picture.

They say a picture can say a thousand words. Maybe it can, maybe it can't. It's all a matter of perspective. This picture isn't brilliant. It was taken by an average photographer (i.e. me) with a 3.2 megapixel crappy phone camera. And yet, there's something about it that makes me want to look at it. Maybe it's the calmness of the sea or maybe it's the reflection of the sunlight on its still waters. It's a pretty crappy picture I'd say, but it's been my wallpaper for quite a while now and I quite like it for some reason. So here's my one picture. :)

And with that, my ten-day challenge stands successfully completed. Mission fait accompli. Yay! :D I feel quite good and would've written more but I'm dead tired and Spiritus begins tomorrow so must get sleep. Shall be back with more in three days. Till then, adieu folks!

Two Songs.

Okay this one is going to be nearly impossible. Two songs. Just TWO. No matter which songs you choose, I don't think you can do justice to music in two songs. But that aside, what is to be done, must be done. So here they are.

1. Breathe (2 am) by Anna Nalick. I love her voice. And I love this song. It's an awesome song although admittedly not extraordinary. But it's the one song that I listen to every day. Every single day. Not kidding. There's something about it. I can't point out what but there's just something about it. 

2. Sooraj Ki Baahon Mein from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. I'm putting this here only because it's my latest addiction and I don't want to be unfair to the tonnes of amazing music that is out there by listing only some of it. Not that this is isn't amazing! But there's definitely better music out there. 

Hah. This was actually way easier than I thought. Two songs will never be enough. Period. No point bothering about picking out the bestest songs you've ever come across. Phew. One day to go. See you on the other side :D

Three Films.

Okay I think I must give prior warning for this one. I like watching movies, yes. But I'm NOT a movie fan or a person who loves films. I'm pretty much neutral. So don't be shocked out of your wits if my selection includes movies which you think are horrendous or excludes some all-time best movies or anything of the sort. Everyone is entitled to their own choices. You'll probably judge me for mine but I'm okay with that. :) Also, I really can't remember all the movies I've ever seen in my life so I'm going to put down three off the top of my head!

1. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. I don't know if it's a great movie in terms of technical aspects of movie making or even acting skills on display. But I loved the feel of the movie! Even more than Dil Chahta Hai, although they're similar in many ways. Maybe it's because I'm now in college and can relate to it much better. Or maybe it's because Spain just seems so amazing. Plus, the music is pretty awesome. Anyhow, it's only the second or third movie that I actually went and saw twice in a theatre. I think that says it all.

2. Inception. What. A. Movie. It's so friggin brilliant! It has everything that you want from a movie without having anything that you wouldn't want. Loved it. Plus, Leonardo Di Caprio is always cute :D

3. Conflict between Shawshank Redemption and A Walk To Remember. Admittedly, they stand in stark contrast to each other. One is about grit and determination, the other about love. But I'm conflicted because they're both inspiring in different ways. And I happen to think they're both amazing in their own ways.

I don't quite believe it, but I'm feeling a little sad that this ten-day challenge is beginning to end now. Hmm.

Yes, I'm a bookworm.

Yes, I love reading. Yes, you can call me a bookworm. Period.

These four book aren't necessarily the most well-written ones that I've ever read. But I've listed them here because they're the ones I'd want to go back and read again and again, for varying reasons. Never judge a book solely by its cover. :)

Four Books

1. Sherlock Holmes. I'm a sucker for detective and mystery novels/stories and despite being written ages ago, I think Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's creations continue to be, by far, some of the best works of all times. I've read them a gazillion times, can read them another gazillion times. They're just so friggin awesome!

2. The Elephant, the Tiger and the Cell Phone: Reflections on India - the Emerging 21st-Century Power by Shashi Tharoor. Also, Being Indian by Pavan K. Varma. They both fall in the same genre of books and I love them both for their keen insight into everything that is Indian. It's one thing to observe the idiosyncrasies of people around you and entirely another to be able to put it down in words which portray every little, intricate detail with such precision and truth. I've always believed that writing about real-life situations is more difficult than writing fiction. Kudos to these guys for some stunning work.

3. Ruskin Bond and Enid Blyton Books. I've grown up reading these books and they remain some of my most favourite ones till date. I know people who think I'm weird because I like Ruskin Bond books but honestly, as a kid, I loved his stories, what with the hill station charm, the boarding school tales and the grandma love! Definitely on my all-time favourites list. 

4. Shakespeare. How could I forget! I love his writings. Although I've read only Julius Caesar in the unabridged version, I love the others as well. Romeo and Juliet included.

There. I actually managed to put down some four books/writings. Not bad. But really, this is cruel. Books are far too awesome to be narrowed down like this. There are SO many more that I want to include. Anyhow, a task is a task and I've completed mine for today. Three Films tomorrow!

Yummmmy :D

I'm now getting the feeling that this challenge is actually very carefully designed. As the numbers go down, making choices more and more difficult, the things become more and more fun! At least for me, it seems to be so. I'm a complete foodie and this one was a pure delight, although it was the toughest in terms of having to choose. I mean how can you choose between food! My mouth hasn't stopped watering. *slurp*

Five Foods

1. Chicken Seekh Kebabs. Don't ask me what's quite so special about them because I can't point it out. It beats me too. But I love Seekh Kebabs. Simply love them. Specially the ones Dad makes at home. Sheer bliss.

2. Chocolates. Any shape, size, kind. White, Milk, Nutty, Dark, anything. I'm a self-confessed chocoholic. Although somehow my capacity for eating them seems to have reduced mysteriously, my love for them is as abundant as ever. Mmmmmm.

3. Fruits. All possible varieties. Mangos, apples, kiwis, watermelons, peaches. You name it and I'll eat it. I can survive on them. True story.

4. The dal and roti that Mom makes. Honestly, it's the one thing that I miss the most in hostel. Simple home food.

5. Grilled/Baked Fish. It can be done in a gazillion ways but unfortunately, there are only a handful of places that know how to do it right. But if done to perfection, it's pretty darn awesome. It makes me want to go back to Johnson's Cafe in Manali.

Mission for today accomplished. Phew. Whatte task.

Six Places! :D

This was definitely the most fun. Maybe it's because the thought of going anywhere just gets me so damn excited! :D Here goes.

1. Paris! I've heard good things and I've heard not-so-good things. Maybe it won't be as good as I expect it to be, maybe it'll be far better. Who knows. But I really really want to go. I'm a die-hard romantic and it's the city of love. It's really that simple.

2. Delhi. It's home. It's where I've spent the first 18 years of my life. It's the one city I'll always call mine. Period.

Oh you look so beautiful tonight,
In the city of blinding lights.
<3

3. Kasauli. It's got this amazing aura of peace that I've never found anywhere else. The charms of quaint little hill-stations have always worked on me anyway.

4. Hostel (Narmada) terrace. It's been my escape from Law School. Fights and rants, confessions and consolations, discussions about life and much else, smiles and tears. It's seen 'em all. So many memories. Popo and TenG will know exactly what I'm talking about.

5. Any place near the sea. I adore the sea. I can sit for hours just staring at its vast expanse. It calms me down in some strange way. The waves, their crests crashing over each other, make everything else seem so mundane. It's quite amazing really!

6. Under the stars. Night skies are beautiful everywhere. Even when they're red, like in Bangalore. Especially with Snow Patrol playing in the background.

And now I feel like just packing my bags and setting off to some place. Dammit. That day shall come soon. Hope is what we live for. :)

Seven Wants.

This was surprisingly difficult. Obviously there are a billion things everyone wants but listing out the ones you really really want can be tough at times. Anyhow, here they are.

1. iPod. Any shape, size, colour. I don't care how it sounds but my old one decided to stop working at the beginning of this trimester and I've been going a little crazy ever since. I love my music and I like to have it with me at all points of time. So iPod is definitely top priority right now.

2. A small wooden cottage in a pretty hill station. I just adore the idea.

3. An old Victorian architecture style building with the arches and the huge compounds, by the beach in Goa. This is a combination of two things that I really want - an old style building and a house by the beach. Since Goa seems to have both, I think I'll settle for a combo. :)

4. Peace. In this country and in this world. Just live and let live, for God's sake! And I'm not saying this because it sounds cool or anything. I really want it. Don't we all? Or most of us at least. 

5. The power to apparate and disapparate. Now THAT would be cool. Also, so much more convenient!

6. An opportunity to do Pinocchio again. 6 months of music, dance, crazy rehearsals, exhaustion, bruised knees and endless amounts of fun. I want to do that again. Just once. 

(Just fyi, Pinocchio was a huge musical that we staged in Delhi about 4 years ago. With a script by Gulzarji, music by Ustad Zakir Hussain and direction by my guru, Smt. Vaswati Misra, it was quite an experience. Some 500 students from schools across Delhi participated.)

7. I don't believe this but there isn't anything else that I really really want! Wow. I feel blessed and I think I want it to stay this way :D

There. 4 down, 6 to go!

The only thing you should fear, is fear itself.

As I was writing this, I realised that confronting and accepting things you're afraid of is so much harder than say, revealing secrets. But it feels good also. In a strange way.

Eight Fears

1. Fear itself. I mean think about it, being afraid sucks! That helpless, pathetic feeling is so horrible. *shudder*

2. Horror movies. Yes, you can mock me for being a loser. But I just CAN'T watch horror movies. I get nightmares, okay!


3. Pushing myself too hard and burning out. Law School really isn't helping the cause.


4. Losing loved ones. Nearly universal, I guess. But true nonetheless. 


5. Hurting people unknowingly. I'm not afraid of it per se, but it's just one of those things that make me really sad.


6. Waking up to find that I'm a dumb blonde. Pardon the stereotype.


7. Plane crashes! It's one of those deep-seated, irrational fears that you can never quite get over. I've made some 10 trips back and forth in the last year itself (since that's the fastest way to get home). But every time I sit in the plane, the only thing I pray for is to not let it crash. The gruesome images of plane wreckage on TV don't particularly help either.


8. Alien invasions. I just don't like the idea of Martians attacking us. What, it's true!

Nine Loves :)

This one, as anticipated, was much more fun. Also, it does resemble the text on the sidebar but then I really do love those things! Here goes:

1. Dance, dance, dance. Without even a shadow of a doubt. The sad bit is that since I've come to Law School, it's kind of taken a back seat. But I've promised myself I'll keep it alive to the best of my abilities. Some things you just can't take away from a person. :)

2. Rain. As clichéd as it may sound. I love the smell of the wet-clay and the feel of the drops on my hand. That's one reason I'm loving Bangalore. Even though it gets a leetle too much at times.

3. Pretty, long hair. It's one of those things I wanted ever since I was a child but my mom would inevitably convince me to cut them off. They are a pain to maintain but then where's the gain without the pain? :D

4. Lying under the stars, listening to music. Love it! It's my calm-self-down mechanism. Though I wish I could do it more often and not just when I really need to.

5. Hills/Mountains (Never quite understood the need to differentiate) and Beaches. I love both equally. Beaches are more fun while hills are more relaxing. Most people seem to hate one and love the other, but I think they both have their own charm. To each his own!

6. Travelling. New people, new places, new experiences, whatte fun :D My secret ambition is to make enough money and then travel around the world. Wheeeeee!

7. Home. Delhi. 'Nuff said. <3

(I'm beginning to realise there are too many things to put on this list. Hmm.)

8. Independence. In all spheres. I've been told that being fiercely independent is a very Aquarian trait. Who knows? Maybe some of these things aren't absolute hocus pocus after all.

9. Food. I love food. Period. My dad and I have a thing for trying out different cuisines. Yes, it can turn out to be disastrous but that's part of the fun :D

Task for today accomplished! This is turning out to be fun stuff.

Finally! :P

So. Finally, I'm starting. Ten-day challenge, here I come!

Ten Secrets.

1. I'm a happy person in life :D I don't like moping and I can't be in a bad mood for too long. Or so I like to believe at least.

2. I can't sit idle for too long. Like in life, generally. I start going bonkers if I don't have something constructive to do.

3. I don't like being mean to people. I really don't. Not unless they really really piss me off. 

4. I'm a pedant when it comes to formatting and grammar. Every time I see a spelling error or a comma gone awry or anything of the sort, I get this obsessive, compulsive urge to correct it. I hate the squiggly red lines that MS-Word makes every time it thinks there's a mistake. Stupid software.


5. I get a headache when people talk too much, for too long. Nonsense, that too. I really don't mind the silence, please stop talking?


6. I suck when it comes to expressing feelings and emotions. I tend to keep them to myself and ponder over them endlessly. My friends have now devised their own mechanisms to get me to spill the beans. I'm strangely grateful. :)


7. I can't stand dirty rooms. Or stinky people. Ew. Unfortunately, Law School has an abundance of both. Sigh.


8. I hate when people lie to me. It makes me sad and I feel like I shouldn't have trusted them in the first place. I lose faith in them.


9. I'm crazy about earrings. Can. Not. Resist. Them. Must change them every day. I feel incomplete if I don't.


10. Never thought I'd say this, but I love Law School. Really. As much as I crib, there's no other place I'd rather be. My school holds a very special place in my heart and I never thought any institute could take that place. But Law School seems to be doing the unthinkable again. Admitting it to other people mostly invites an expression of disgust coupled with an inevitable rant about what's wrong with this place. Which is exactly why I mostly prefer to not profess this fact publicly.


There. Phew. Nine Loves should be more fun :) 

Anti-Lamentation.

I don't know whether it's the simplicity or the utter truthfulness which is so striking but it makes you want to read and re-read it. Yet again, thanks to Piper. :)

Anti-Lamentation

Dorianne Laux 

Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read
to the end just to find out who killed the cook.
Not the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark,
in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication.
Not the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot,
the one you beat to the punchline, the door, or the one
who left you in your red dress and shoes, the ones
that crimped your toes, don’t regret those.
Not the nights you called god names and cursed
your mother, sunk like a dog in the livingroom couch,
chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.
You were meant to inhale those smoky nights
over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings
across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed
coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.
You’ve walked those streets a thousand times and still
you end up here. Regret none of it, not one
of the wasted days you wanted to know nothing,
when the lights from the carnival rides
were the only stars you believed in, loving them
for their uselessness, not wanting to be saved.
You’ve traveled this far on the back of every mistake,
ridden in dark-eyed and morose but calm as a house
after the TV set has been pitched out the upstairs
window. Harmless as a broken ax. Emptied
of expectation. Relax. Don’t bother remembering
any of it. Let’s stop here, under the lit sign
on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.

So cool. A refreshing break from the convoluted ideas of Rawls, Raz and all that jazz (The rhyme wasn't intentional, I swear).

Penn Masala.

First things first. I'm not trying to avoid/delay taking up the ten-day challenge. Just haven't been able to start it. In my defense, the net wasn't working plus mid-terms start tomorrow. Will start the day after mid-terms. For sure. Yeah go on, give me the I-know-what-you're-really-trying-to-do look. But it's not going to work. I shall prove it. Five days. Just.

Also, I hate mid-terms. Well, not really. But it's just damn annoying to have to read all this crap. Can't wait for this trimester to end, these Arts subjects will finally be over! Some part of me wants to be a fifth-year. Sigh.

Oh and the title. So. I just discovered this group (called Penn Masala, duh!) via my Facebook News Feed (surprisingly, it does turn up good stuff at times). Anyhow, so they're a group of students from UPenn who've formed their own a cappella group. The world's first Hindi one actually. Many of their renditions are an amalgam of one Hindi and one English song though they have others as well. Sheer brilliance. Inspiring also, in a strange way. They make me want to travel the world on a dance tour. This is what life should be. Anyhow, like I was saying, these guys are quite amazing. Check out some of their renditions here. Or at this link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cR_oK2buZEk. Must listen though!

Shall go now, History and Political Science await. Tada!

Circle of Life.

I'm not quite sure how I should refer to well, um..it. Was a girl I think, but I'm not too certain. 'It' seems most appropriate, I guess. It lay there. The baby. Lifeless. Serene, almost. The last traces of a faint smile still on its face. The mother picking up its motionless little figure, arms wrapped around ever so tightly even as her eyes poured endless streams of tears. The father, pain writ large on his face, still reeling, watching the nurse write "Brought Dead" in big, bold letters. 

And then out of nowhere, unexpectedly, my own memories. Flashing through my mind like a film reel. Those images I thought I had erased forever, suddenly as fresh as ever. Memories. Two figures, perfectly still, lying next to each other. Together even in this one last experience. Dad hugging me, Ma standing there as if turned to stone. And the countless relatives. Offering condolences. 

And yet others, happier ones. Dadaji's imitations of a chortling, 1-year old me. Dadi's letters to me, offering her pearls of wisdom, as always. 

I now know why people dread hospitals. They're strange places. 

Some experiences leave you at a loss for words. For a moment, you stop breathing, stop feeling and exist in this state where you are completely emotionless. Blank. Witnessing the dead is one of them. It leaves you with something more than just morbidity. Like an impression in hot wax. Deceptively permanent. And yet, it changes you. In more ways than you ever realise. 

That's how life goes on, I guess. It's these strange experiences which mould us. Play ever-so-tiny a part in making us who we are. And so we live on, hopeful as always. Tomorrow will be another day. And the new sun will bring new life and new experiences. 

R.I.P. little one and my two stars. 

Halt.

Projects. Are. Finally. Over. Phew. Icanstoprunningfornow! Catch my breath for a day or two before mid-term mania begins. Joy :D

Anyhoo, I have decided to take up the Ten-Day Challenge. Read about it somewhere, can't remember where though. Here's how it goes:

Ten Secrets
Nine Loves
Eight Fears
Seven Wants
Six Places
Five Foods
Four Books
Three Films
Two Songs
One Picture

I can anticipate that this is going to be a little tough. The honesty bit, I mean. But I want to be honest. With myself more than anything else. So I shall endeavour to complete this daunting task. Ten days. Phase II of Operation Revamp begins. Wish me luck!

Friday Perfection.

Every day should be like Friday. Just right. This is how a perfect day goes:

1. Fun classes. Or as fun as they usually get.

2. Three day holiday! 

3. Brilliant pre-rain breeze.

4. Food :D

5. Book and Hot Coffee, curled up on a couch. Whatte combo.

6. Shower in the rain. 

7. Bliss.

:)

The rain makes everything so much more green, so much more loveable. So pretty. Sigh. Who would've thought it? I might just be liking Bangalore. You never know.

My Lorelei.

I wish I could write such awesome lyrics. Whatte song! Thank you Piper, for making me re-listen to it after a while :)

P. S. - Vis Rounds are over. Operation Revamp is now officially underway! See you on the other side :D

How fragile is your thread?

Everyone and everything in Law School hangs by a thread. Literally. People, emotions, moots, relationships, projects and attendance (:P), everything. It's a little sad because at some level you feel like nothing is meant to last. And it makes you cynical. In ways you never imagine. Which is why you should concentrate on the things which make you happy. Admittedly easier said than done but saying it out loud also has an effect. Trust me :D

One of the crappiest days in Law School, by far. And I'm not even talking with regard to the state of the Vis Rounds. Hah. True story.


P.S. - I've always said it's creepy how shuffle knows my moods. It's also what I love most about it, though. Atleast some things are meant to last :)

Revamp Required.

Interesting things seem to be happening all around. Just generally. On an unrelated note though, I've decided that what this blog needs is some happiness, some shine, some masala. It's too mundane, too emo for it to be my blog. I realised when a friend pointed it out to me, "It looks like all you do in life is philosophise. Be a little more human."

Moot is slightly hindering a complete revamp but this blog shall get a new lease of life soon. Very soon. Suggestions are always welcome although I can't promise they'll be incorporated :)

Be back soon!

Conspiracies.

So yesterday I talked about bucket lists et al. And today, just like that, work on mine started itself. Heh. It's plain amazing at times how the universe really does conspire. I have a sneaky feeling this is the beginning of my conspiracy. And it's oddly exciting. I don't know how it'll end up but for once, I'm game for whatever is in store. Bring it on, I say!

P.S. - Life really is a scheming little bitch. Just saying.

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara.

Whatte movie, whatte day! Till yesterday, I never thought a movie could actually inspire me. But I guess that's the thing about epiphanies. You never know when you're going to have one. I had one yesterday. When I went for it, my mind was swirling with all the work I had, issues to be resolved, deadlines to be met. And then. *poof*

The way I see it, life is always the same. It's just perspective that changes it, makes it better or worse, worth living or dying for. And there's no point in having regrets. So if today you want to leave everything and take a day off, do it! If you want to tell someone you love them or even tell someone that they shouldn't have done something they did to you, do it! Let go. Don't worry about consequences, they'll take care of themselves.

Everyone has a bucket list. A list of things they want to do in their lifetime. Some seem within reach now, some are distant dreams. But until and unless you start work on your bucket list today, you'll never really get around to doing it. So even as the humdrum life goes on, take out time to do things you love. Things which make you happy. Do what your heart fancies. Zindagi na milegi dobara :)

P.S. - Bhatt, you're a crazy man. And one of the few people who seem to be bent upon doing everything I wrote above despite how ridiculous it may sound to others. Good going! :D

Continuum.

IInd year. Still feels a little unreal. And strangely, more overwhelming than first year seemed to be. Weird, right? I think it's probably a first trimester phenomenon. So many decisions to be taken for the year, so much happening simultaneously. The ironic bit is that I always used to be proud of my ability to handle difficult situations and sort out stuff in my head and untangle a huge mess and for the first time now, I'm beginning to question it. And all the while, time flies. And then of course there are the bigger questions which I'm trying to avoid for the moment. Where am I going, what am I doing, am I doing enough, blah blah blah! It's like a whirpool. But at the same time, I'm determined. To not let it affect me, to pull through. There are far bigger things in life that await and I don't want to get caught in these small trappings of life. Atleast not so soon. Marching on it is then. For now.

P.S. - Little joys just make my day. Heartfelt thanks kiddo, for that simple essay. Provided much need perspective :)

Chaos. Or not.

I feel chaotic. Literally. And trust me, it's weird, really weird. Like everything in your head is utterly messed up. So much to do, so many things to figure out. A little overwhelming actually. And this when I'm now entering second year. Gosh, first year was SO much crazier. And now I don't quite know what else to say because there's a tussle between the gazillion things in my head which are jumping out to be expressed in some form. I think I'll stop talking and go to sleep, brush everything under the carpet for now. Like always. Even though some part of me mocks the other for being such an escapist. That part will shut up for now because I need it to. Bleh. Night, folks.

P.S. - The Swell Season. Must listen. Super awesome.

Hols. Sleep. Bliss.

I feel like I need to write. There is this complusive sort of tingling in my fingers which makes me want to write about something, anything. But I'm not quite sure what I want to write about either, so I'm just going to ramble a bit about the hols, what I've been doing etc. etc.

So. Hols. Hm. Well I've pretty much done nothing. And by nothing I mean nothing which can be remotely called productive. I've slept and slept like a log for hours at an end, eaten home food and watched random stuff. Met a couple of people in between but pretty much been in hibernation. Although I did get disowned by a few people owing to the lack of communication from me but they eventually came around to talking to me again because they realised the futility of trying to not be friends with me. Heh.

Apart from that, I've tried unsuccessfully to clear my head. Of the gazillion things that are messed up in it. Tried and given up. I'm hoping the hills will help with that. Like they usually do. I did gain some perspective about Delhi though. Surprisingly, while having a completely unrelated conversation with Dad. But yeah, more about that next time. I'll let sleep take over for now. What bliss.

The City of Djinns.

So many emotions. So much to say. SO much to do. And yet, we get caught in the mundane trappings of life. It's a little tragic.

Anyhow, I suddenly want to write about Delhi. About the things that make it the city it is. The little things, the ones which you probably don't even notice but the ones that are actually the pulse of the city. But capturing and doing justice to those is a burden which I don't think I can successfully discharge. (Yes, debating can do that to you at times.) But I'll try nevertheless. In my own little way.

My earliest memories of this city are those of my childhood. Joyous and carefree. One thing that I miss in particular is the rides on that big jhoola. The coming of the jhoolawala was such a looked-forward to event. The distant sound of his bell. The scrambling and last minute arguments with mum to be allowed that one ride. Always just that one. And then the fighting to sit in a particular basket. What fun!

People say Delhi doesn't have a soul. "It's a soul-less city", "It's the rape capital, how can it have a soul?" blah blah. I've heard them all. And yet, I respectfully choose to disagree. I don't say that it's the best city in all respects, that it offers ideal conditions for living. It's got its own set of problems, just like any other city does. But what it definitely does not lack is a soul. Having lived in Delhi for 18 of the 19 years of my existence, I can safely say that Delhi has a soul, a mind of its own even.

In fact, I think every city has a mind and a soul. It's those unknown, unseen forces which seem to be omnipresent. Those that seem to drive the life in the city. Like silent guardians, perched on top, watching us deal with the lives they have created for us. Likewise, Delhi has a mind and a soul. The beauty of it lies in the fact that you can only feel their presence in the mundane things.

I would write more but exams beckon for now. In fact, initially I thought I would write one post, but now I think I'm going to convert this into a series of posts and supplement it with pictures too. 5 days isn't too long a period to wait. Till then however, I shall bid adieu.

Delhi, come soon. Waiting with arms wide open. :)

Best of times, worst of times.

Exams. Start tomorrow. And here I am, blogging about that strange feeling in the air. But it's true. There is a strange feeling in the air. And it's bothering me because I can't seem to decipher it. It's happy with the ever-so-slight touch of gloom. Ominous and yet immensely promising. So many questions, no answers. As always. So many people and so many relationships. Some old ones being broken, some new ones simultaneously being forged. And yet, for once, I don't care. Or so I would like to believe, although gut says (damn you, gut feels!) that it's a farce I'm trying to put on. Flip side is I don't know what else to do. Caring begins to hurt and I can't seem to take any more of that. Home. That's what I need. Soon. 


"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

Dickens never made more sense. 

New Beginnings :)

Today, for the very first time since I came to law school, I'm feeling that ineffable joy again. The same joy I felt when I got into law school. The same joy I felt every time I danced on stage. The same joy I've felt only a handful of times in my entire lifetime but felt enough number of times to consider myself lucky. Absolute, unbridled, uncontainable. Like nothing, absolutely nothing in the world can go wrong. It's an amazing feeling. I can't particularly pinpoint one reason for it but something tells me it's law school's way of reciprocating the love I've come to develop for it. Despite the billion things that are not ideal with this place, despite everything that we all complain about. It has a different charm and I've realised that you have to let it grow on you for a while before you can really pass a judgement. Which is something law schoolites tend to do way too fast.

Some might say that I'm still a youngling and along the way I'll discover a million other things which will make me hate this place. I have just one thing to ask in response. Which place doesn't have cons? None that I know of. In some the pros outweigh the cons and vice-versa in others. But that to me is purely a matter of perspective. The things that may appear to be cons to you, might be the exact things that I love the most about a place. Obviously I am not in a position to comment on all the other institutions in this world, but I think I can say with a fair amount of conviction that there is no other place I would rather be, no other institution I would rather call my alma mater. Every place can be improved in a lot of ways. So can law school. But that in no way takes away from everything that is awesome about it already. Which is quite a lot. And I think a lot of us forget that sometimes. Unfortunately so.

But I'm hopeful. My great grandfather spent the last bit of his life, bed-ridden. Yet the one thing that he never failed to tell me, time and again, every single day I saw him, was to smile. "Your attire is incomplete without your smile", he would fondly say. Smile because every day is worth living for and nothing is ever over until you think it is. Until and unless you write off something as finished or unredeemable, it never is. He never wrote himself off and he was by far one of the happiest people I've ever seen. The reason I say this here is because I truly believe in it. There has been lot of talk about law school traditions, law school standards and the 'spirit' of law school as it used to be, being dead and non-existent. Or greatly diminished atleast. I haven't been here long enough to comment on that. But all I can say is that from whatever little I've seen and heard, I don't think the law school spirit deserves to be written off just yet. It's never too late to make a new beginning and all we need is to start over. I'm sure it will work. It must. Because I for one believe, that law school's redemption is just beginning. And if for nothing else, then for the great law school spirit that apparently was, it deserves this one, whole-hearted attempt at revival.

To new beginnings. To law school. Cheers :)

A Step Forward.

There are the times when everything seems static, not moving at all. You feel frozen, trapped in time almost. And then suddenly, it all starts moving again. One step at a time. And once again, you feel in control. Moving slowly and steadily. It's early I know, but I have a good feeling about this. Even the next few bits.

On a side, as cliched as it sounds, tell the people you love today how much they mean to you. Everyone isn't as lucky so make the best of it :)

Change.

Change is the only constant. So cliched, so true. Its what makes the future so unpredictable. However much we may think that we can see that distant horizon that we're someday, most definitely going to reach, it doesn't happen. Most times, that is. In between the time when you see that point on the distant horizon and the time when you think that you have sort of gotten there, a lot changes. Including the path that you take to get there and consequently, the point on that horizon where you end up reaching. Or the horizon itself, if you will. You make compromises and give up on things you never thought you would. On the bright side, you also learn a lot many more things, meet new people, come across new ideas and go through varied experiences. But like I said, nothing stays static. All of these notions change. On a frequent basis. And sometimes, just sometimes, you get a little tired of that continuous movement. That ever-changing need to adapt yourself to situations. But eventually you learn to live with it. You gotta learn to live and live and learn :)

I have never missed my dance so much. Never. Just saying.

Sweet and Sour.

I'm still trying to figure out what was the sweet bit about the day. But it seemed kind of nice as a title. I think I'm going to just put today behind me. Write it off as one of those bleh days. Tomorrow shall be a new day. More like today. Time travel is cool though. Just saying.

P.S. - If you want to listen to an awesome guitar piece, check out Ocean by the John Butler Trio. Pretty cool.

High, up above.

I probably should be sleeping right now. And definitely not writing a blog post about what's on my mind. But I feel like writing and I know I won't be able to sleep without doing so. Hence this post.

Aspirations. Dreams. Desires. Most of us have them. And fortunately or unfortunately, for most of us, our level of happiness seems to be directly proportional to the extent of fulfilment of these. The sad part is when you have too many and you're made to choose. So much to do, so little time. Seems to be the current state of affairs. And will remain so for a while, from the looks of it. The bright side is that its strangely making me happy. Being in the thick of things. Or maybe I'm just sleepy.

Either way, for once, I'm not complaining :)

Ramblings.

There are the days when everything is awesome. And the ones when nothing is. But my favourite kind of days are the ones which are in the middle. Not the best, but not the worst either. And if you're my kind of person, you feel like just walking out and going on to wherever the road may take you. Not philosophically, literally :) My longing for such a day is kind of at its peak right now. If only the weather would be perfect like last week. Sigh.

But exams need to finish before that. Honestly, I feel a little guilty this time. Kind of let go. But then the fact that there is guilt reassures me because it tells me that I haven't yet reached a stage where I'm beyond caring. There's always a next time and thank god for that.

That said, Trimester III continues to surprise me. In a lot of ways. Both good and bad. And I'm also learning. Lots. But also enjoying it. There's a strange sense of calm and excitement at the same time. Don't know why but its quite interesting. Let's see what the next few days have in store.

Must get back to Consti now, enough rambling for today. Ta!

Home, come soon?

The funny part is that even as I'm writing this post I can see mental images of the cheerful, uncomplaining person I had promised myself I would be this trimester. But it seems like law school doesn't like it that way. Its back. With a vengeance. And even though today was a mostly a happy day, I can't quite wait to go home. Strange kind of claustrophobia. I think its mostly projects but it seems like everyone and everything is just getting on my nerves. Gosh. So annoying. Two days, two days. I keep chanting that in my head like some sort of vedic mantra. I can almost feel it now. Embrace me home, I am waiting for you to take me in your arms. Daughtry says pretty much everything :)


Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.


Come soon! 

Chances.

I don't know if its the rain, but I feel a strange sense of buoyancy. Although you can't really call this rain but still. I've resigned myself to the oddities of Bangalore rain. But it does make everything seem pretty so I'm not really complaining! Anyhow, discovery of this week: Chances by Five For Fighting. Amazing song, amazing lyrics. I'm hearing a song on a loop after ages. Its also kind of inspiring. In a lot of ways. Makes me want to reach out and touch the sky, fly with my hands spread out wide. Honestly, quite brilliant. Shall leave you with my favourite lines -

Chances are we'll find a new equation

Chances are the fascinations

Chances won't escape from me

Chances are only what we make them and all I need 

P. S. - I've learnt that there are some things that you've just got to do. Don't allow fear of the unknown to stop you. There are some chances that you've got to take :)

Happy Feet :)

So. I danced today. After 10 months. Ten whole months. WHAT a feeling. A heady mix of joy, exhilaration and nostalgia. Its one of those moments when you want to shout from the rooftops and share your joy with every single person around. SO so happy :) And since anything else that I say from this point onwards will seem to be random blabber because I'm quite incoherently happy right now, I'll just go. Keep dancing, stay happy! 

Singa singa!

Aaand we're back. Whatte trip, whatte experience! Singapore, I quite like you :) I honestly don't know where to begin from. From roaming the streets at 4 a.m. to epic balcony talks, from parallel committees to the closing ceremony on the beach, its been quite awesome. Despite the fact that I'm quite done with MUNning. For the time being atleast. But let's not talk about that.

Also, maps seem to be my thing. Okay, not really. But being the resident cartographer of the delegation was so much fun! "Travellers" like Vijay will quite agree that I was awesome :P And then there were the brilliant insights into law school life. I don't know whether it was the fact that being away gives you more perspective or it was just the time but I feel like I know law school better. Or rather, I'm better equipped to handle it now. The highlight was, of course, the reunion of the sisters. So much fun and after SO long! Even though I was treated like the 'kid' just because I'm 19 and they're growing old. Hmph.

No post about this trip can be complete without a mention about happy happy. Aqseer and I are still sad because Anita burst our bubble. But I swear the MRT woman said happy happy and not weird berhati-hati for mind the gap. No on believes me. But I know the woman was just expressing her joy everytime we got onto the train. Huh. She loved us. I know it.

On the whole I would say it was quite brilliant. A good start to the IIIrd trimester definitely! Back to law school now, I guess. Third trimester beckons.

Toodles!

Jogging Past.

There are some days when you feel like you've suddenly grown as a person. You can feel life going past you a little faster than usual. Jogging almost. Some conversations, some sights and some people later, you feel a little older. More experienced maybe. And as much as these moments of 'growing up' make you smile at your earlier innocence, they also make you realise what an idiot you might have been!

I've had a couple of such moments these hols and I have a feeling I've emerged as a better person, if nothing else. Experiences and relationships teach you SO much. Its quite incredible actually. Perspectives can also make a sea of difference. Take a look. Mistakes made and lessons learnt are also rewards, if you choose to view them through that lens. Rewards for the circumstances that you have endured and rewards that will hopefully ensure you don't make those mistakes again. Just a matter of different angles. Anyhow, Trimester III of Law School beckons. Something tells me its going to be a little different from the first two. In many, many ways. The rest is of course pure conjecture, but one thing is for sure, I'm going back with a lot more than I came with. And hopefully, it'll serve me well.

When far, far on the distant horizon
The first rays of the sun emerge
Fresh and as yet, untouched,
Pack your bags and let the journey begin
For the road is yet untrodden
And life, yet undiscovered.

Love.

Here goes another of those poems. Its something I wrote ages ago but came across again today and decided to post. I think its kind of childish and yet strangely insightful. Suit yourself.

Love

Have you ever wondered what love is?

Is it the joy that comes from togetherness?
Or the pain that seperation brings?
The hurt that must end a fight.
Or the little whisperings, the sweet nothings?

Or is it the faith that seems so fragile,
The suspicions and the doubts in the mind?
Or maybe the little gestures that make a day
The hugs, the kisses and the kind?

Is it the broken promises?
Words spoken, but never meant
Or is it the heartfelt vows of eternity,
Of staying together, till the very end?

Is it the little gifts, the wondrous surprises,
The smiles that they bring on that special one's face?
Or those intimate moments, stolen from time,
The lilting dances, the music at slow pace?

Is love to be found in the mundane things,
The little tokens strewn upon our path?
Or is it to be searched for in the grand scheme of things,
That special feeling, that you never before had?

But no, love is not any of these
Its something else, heavenly and divine
Its not the emotions that change face each day
Its the belief that is in your heart entwined.

Its not about the fleeting experiences
Joy, hurt, elation, hatred
Its about that belief, buried deep down
That nothing can ever, on your heart, tread

Its not about wanting all the happiness in the world
Nor about hoping that it all goes fine
Its about knowing that even through the rough patches,
When all else fails, your love will still shine.

True love isn't when you can't think about anyone else,
Nor about being together all the time
Its about being able to go on with life
Because you are so complete within.

Love isn't in the big things of life,
Those experiences which last but awhile
Its in the tiniest of places,
Those littlest of memories that will always make you smile.

Music :)

I think music should officially be tagged as man's greatest invention/discovery/art. Its beyond awesome. The way music can turn everything around is amazing. Change a depressing day into one that can be survived or transform  a dreary one into a joyful blur of happy moments. Discovered quite a lot of music today. Well, atleast a decent amount compared to what I've discovered over the past 6 months anyway. Some old yet unexplored and some new. But the discoveries that made my day were two. I don't think either of them are outstanding songs by themselves but I loved them for their crazy, carefree sort of feel.

Listen to World Turning by Fleetwood Mac when you need energy/want to be lifted into high spirits in general. And Mad As Rabbits by Panic! At The Disco when you just want to feel wonky. Its a crazy, crazy song but then that's what I loved it for.

The journey.

So. Its been a long long month and a long long journey. And its been one hell of an experience too. Ups and downs, highs and lows, wins and losses, joys and sorrows. But its been worth it, I think. I've grown. As a person and more importantly, as a human being.

The moot. Well, to put it in a nutshell, we didn't even break, leave alone make it to the finals. Yes, there are a billion things that weren't perfect. Or far from it. The format was messed, we didn't have any experience, blah blah blah. But the bottom line is the that we couldn't rise to the occasion. And despite knowing that we were placed 12th out of 54 teams, it pinches. Everyone was very supportive and tried their level best to make us feel better. But there's only so much that can be done. The rest only time can do. And that is best left to its own devices.

On the bright side, it was a brilliant experience. Those two months were the most gruelling, tiring and yet, exhilarating two months of my life. Ever. And for that I want to just say, thank you. To Anil and Manasa. For being simply awesome. I have learnt a lot and gained immense amounts from all the time we spent and all the work we did. And despite everything that happened, I think we did pretty decently. So well done guys. For the last time, Yoohoo KLA! :)

And then the break up. That was another experience altogether. I don't want to say much but I'll just say this, I've learnt a lot from it and emerged a much, much wiser person. I've let go and I carry no regrets.

Finally home. Brilliant as ever. Warm, embracing and healing, as always. And whatever anyone might say, I love this city. Period. It has always been there for me and I love that about it. And my affair with this city continues <3

Life is strange. Here one day and there the next. But then I guess that's also the most brilliant part about it, ain't it? :)

And I think I'm going to leave you with that thought.
Tada!

Get, Set, Go!

Yes so the time is almost here. I can almost feel the tingling excitement in my veins. Nearly 2 months of work about to come to life. Its actually exhilarating. For the first time since I took it up, I've understood why people moot :)

Also, I suddenly realised I haven't had time to properly close the last trimester since that involves going over everything that happened in those 3 months. But considering the current paucity of time, I'm going to leave that task for later. Alas, that final goodbye to Trimester-II of Law School shall have to wait a leetle longer.

And now I'm sleepy and have run out of stuff to say which is unrelated to the moot. But just a little poem to end with. Here goes:

Credits: Mrinalini Shinde

Even when it seems like the end of the road,
And you feel like you're out of breath
Look far ahead, onto the horizon and you'll see
A new ray of hope, glistening and fresh.
Embrace its warmth, feel it on your skin
And then, let the journey, really begin.

Cheers!

P.S.- Skittle, I know you probably won't read this, but I just feel like saying thank you. For everything. You're awesome :)

Saviour

Shuffle makes you discover some amazing songs at times! Saviour by Jason Sweet. Perfect song for the moment. Literally. Also, it prompted me to post the second part of my poem which seems to go with the general theme of the song anyway. So here goes:


Part II: The Battle Comes To An End

The days go by, seasons change

And yet the battle, continues to rage

Some days its me, some days its him

Some days I lose, some days I win

But my heart and soul continue to get battered

I wonder if they could be any further shattered

Hope is fading, I want to let go

Give up this fight and just go with the flow

But somewhere inside me, a small voice

Barely audible, yet firm in its choice

Tells me to keep going and not lose hope

To hang in there, to try and cope

One day your patience will bear fruit

Your fortitude and spirit will rule the roost

So it says, and though I hardly know why

I endure, and grow weaker as the days go by

Then one spring day, as insipid as all others

Yet born differently from all its brothers

I get up to see a glowing light

An angel’s halo, divine and bright

I rub my eyes, it seems to be a dream

My throat is stuck up with my scream

Have you come for me? I ask in utter disbelief,

Or is it just my imagination, am I still asleep?

The angel laughs, like a tinkering bell

“Yes my dear, I have come to make you well

You just be in my arms and leave the rest to me

I will protect you, be your guardian, you’ll see

You’ve endured much and for long, now let it be

You’re no longer alone, its not you, its we

We will drive away this terrible pain

And we won’t rest until it is slain

I promise I will make you whole

Heal your heart with all the love that it can hold

Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe

Mend your soul and get you back in perfect shape”

I want to speak, but the words are stuck

I stare at the angel, still dumbstruck

I want to cry, but my tears refuse to run

And I stare at the angel, as bright as the sun

The angel watches me, silent as the night

Only holding me closer, embracing me tight

“Save these tears, now is not the time

Don’t you worry, it’ll all be fine

For now, let us go finish what is still left

Punish the devil who’s left you deprived and bereft

Let us unleash the power of love

The gods are watching over us from above”

And so we step onto the battle ground again

But today I am not alone, and he shall be slain

The power of love, shall all others, outshine

Today and forever, victory shall be mine

The devil reappears, with his mocking smile,

His face still hungry and full of guile

“Today you shall be mine, I shall vanquish your heart

Obliterate it completely, tear it apart”

And he roars with laughter, gets ready to kill

Today he is determined to have his fill

“Stop there you fiend” murmurs the angel back

And the brute freezes in his tracks

“What did you say? You’ll vanquish the heart?

Obliterate it completely and tear it apart?

Never! I shall not let this happen

Fight with me, I’ll teach you a lesson

Get ready, o savage one, its your turn today

You’ve had your fill, now its time to repay

Disappear now, and never be seen

Or pay the price for what you’ve been”

But the devil is obdurate, thinks he is too strong

He wants to fight the angel, prove him wrong

The angel smiles, “Then I am afraid, you force me to kill”

And for a moment its all very still

And then suddenly, there is a blinding light

Yet warm and comforting, shining bright

And the devil’s entire being begins to burn

He writhes in pain, tosses and turns

The angel reappears, and to the devil, says,

“Didn’t I warn you? Now this is the price you pay

The power of love, you cannot withstand

It will torch you completely, turn you to sand

Not a speck of your filthy being shall remain

From now, there shall be no pain

Adieu, evil one, this is the end

Never again shall you return, o fiend”

And I watch, amazed, frozen in time

My heart beats fast, its finally mine

I don’t have to run, I don’t have to escape

The devil is gone and I am safe

And my tears well up again,

Tears of relief, not those of pain

And I find my angel by my side

Comforting my soul, my gentle guide

I look up at the angel, there is so much I want to say

But words, it seems, won’t come to me today

“You don’t have to thank me, I came for you

Because your heart is pure and your soul is true

There is peace all around, a strange kind of calm

The angel heals my wounds, like a balm

Together we pick up all the shards

Put them together, rebuild my heart

And cement it with the power of love

The gods watching us, smile from above

A new day dawns, happy and bright

My angel is still here, with the shining white light

Now there’ll be no more pain, and no more fiends

The battle within, has come to an end